fail!

Well, not really. Let me start off by saying that the other day I had a really cool experience with God. It was pretty amazing and I was really excited about it.

Here's the story. Since those last few post I've been feeling pretty far separated from God and like not into it and stuff. Part of it was because I fell into things that I definitely shouldn't have and it made me feel like a super failure. Even though I had fun I still felt like such a jerk and a loser. But then since I had fun I kind of lost sight of the point of like being close to God and having a good relationship with Him and everything. So in my mind I had given up. I was just like whatever I'm gonna do what I want now and I'm gonna live my life for me and to have fun. I thought that I probably just wasn't cut out to be a christian anyways.

Later in the week I kinda settled down and I decided to try and get back into my quiet times and I read this book that Gary gave me called "Just Like Jesus Devotional" by Max Lucado. I'd been reading it before but since I kinda gave up on stuff I sorta put it down and left it alone. I picked up where I left off. It was about having a listening hear t and hearing God's voice and stuff. So that night after reading it I was in bed and I pretty much didn't get it and I was like ok God, I'm listening...speak to me. For some reason though I couldn't quiet my brain down and I got really frustrated.

The next day I think it was a day when I had like one class so I had a lot of free / alone time. I was like ok I'm gonna do it right this time. In the reading it said you need 3 things: 1)a regular quiet time and place. 2) An open Bible. 3) A listening heart.

So I gave it a shot. I had the time and the place. What I needed next was an open Bible. I was like ok and I kind of just let it fall open. It opened to Jonah. Then suddenly, a lightbulb went on. Jonah was a guy who heard God's voice, clear as day telling him very specific directions for his life. I don't think I've ever heard God as loud and clear as Jonah did but I've defintely been like him in my blatant disobedience.

Then I looked for the part where Jonah was repenting for not listening to God. I found it in 2:8-9. "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit God's love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, 'Salvation comes from the LORD.'"

How amazing is that?! As I get older and look more into the Bible and stuff I feel like there's so mch more there than I've ever seen. I've denifitely heard the story of Jonah 100 times, but never have I heard that first part. Forfeiting God's love? After reading those words, how could I possibly choose to do things that I thought of as fun, knowing that I'm giving up the greatest Love ever known to man?

So that was my week. Quite an interesting one indeed.