i'm learning

It really sucks when you don't get what you want. It may not have been on as large a scale as some people I know, but I was a pretty spoiled child. I was the youngest girl and from my birth until now I've gotten pretty much everything I wanted. Some of my closer friends know and have seen that I can whine sometimes and I guess that little girl who gets whatever she wants is still in me. Obviously this "everything" was within reason. My parents knew and still know how to say no to me. They did it to 3 other kids before me so it definitely was not a problem. But of course, when you spoil a child they try to find a way around the no. My way was crying. I cried and my dad hated it so he gave me what I wanted.

That was an extremely long introduction but I have a point to it. I'm learning that I can't always get what I want and there is a reason for it. I definitely see a change in myself when my Heavenly Father tells me no to something and I stubbornly but surely comply. (if that makes sense) It's hard for me to let go of something I've been doing for the past 19 years. But it kind of makes me happy to see that I'm growing and learning despite not getting what I so desired. I definitely realize that everything happens for a reason and everything will happen in God's time. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

Concert of Prayer tonight was way more amazing that I thought it would be. I'd sort of been dreading it this entire week but in the middle came to understand that I'd kind of been postponing coming "face to face" with God all week. It was awesome, though, the emotions flowing were a bit hard to take at once. When I think about it and am honest with myself, I didn't do any quiet times this week. Kinda bad, I know, but as crazy as it may sound I think it was worth it. I may be wrong. Or maybe my words just don't sound right. But what I'm trying to say is that it went well.

I got an answer to something I've been praying about for a while. It was funny cause the answer was a "Not now." and I kind of whined out a "Whyyy?" Hilarious indeed now that I think back on it. I still don't fully understand it but I know it's for the best. It certainly has been some night.