keeping it simple

I don't want to write a blog that's all like...you know..."makes you think" and whatnot.
I just kind of wanna write about whats been going on.

It's spring break! But sadly that means very little to me. As soon as I really get my laptop fixed [I've had to re-install vista 3 times already and its still giving me issues] I'll have to get to work. As soon as I go back to school (meaning the day classes start) I have an Organic Chem test and a presentation in my Russian History class. I feel like even though it's break the work never ends.

I finally finished planning out my schedule for the summer and for next semester when my mom decides that maybe I should be a nurse. I guess it shouldn't matter what my mom decides for my life because I know ultimately she'll let me do what I want. But then I have 2 problems: 1) Mother knows best. It may not be true for all but its true for me and I cant even begin to tell you the number of times I've said, "I should have listened to my mom." 2) The more I think about it and the further in I go, the more I think that I don't actually know what I want to do. I've always said that I wanted to be a doctor but most recently I'm not sure how true that desire is.

Then I start to think about how there are so many people in my generation who have no real drive or desire for anything which, in turn, makes me think about how much I've heard that the world is going to end in 2012 which leads me to believe that its entirely ok not to have any drive for anything real anyways.

I think more than anything I just want to stick to the plan. I'm a person who will pretty much go with the way things flow as long as I wasn't the one to make the plans in the first place. In the back of my mind I have my school schedule (my classes) mapped out from now until senior year and the minute my mom said, "Maybe you should think about nursing." I knew that all those plans would be out the window and it really upset me inside. (By the way, she suggested the nursing thing so that I would have a job when I graduate because apparently in this economy, nursing is the only sure thing.)

I guess I failed at keeping this a simple update blog, I should chose my titles after I'm done writing :p

Tomorrow (and possibly Wednesday) I'm going to these poetry slams with Nathan and whoever else wants to come. (Come!) Its gonna be pretty cool. And any one who wants to read can. I absolutely love slam poetry. It freaking blows my mind. I've written a few but they're not very good. I was in one of those 'that seems like it'd be easy to do...I could totally do that' moods. I think I failed though (in my opinion).

The whole poetry thing got me thinking about how talented a lot of my friends are(Nathan wrote a really good one). Like, I know so many people who are so good at so many things but are often underrated. I know so many amazing photographers, writers, dancers, musicians, etc. Then THAT made me think about how not so talented I am...which kind of made me sad. I feel like I've tried my hand at so many of these things but I'm just not extraordinarily good at anything.
I think one thing I'm good at though is being confident in myself. Like I really like myself and its hard for me to put myself down which I guess can be a plus. It can also be a minus because then I may be viewed as being cocky or something. But I'd still rather be good at something tangible...

This is a long one. With a lot of parentheses. Thanks for reading if you did :)

edit:
I hurt my knee. It bends weird and may never be the same again. Just thought I'd share. Also, Pillow fight NYC 2009 was absolutely amazing until the cops broke it up early. They couldn't kill our pillow fighting spirits though.